It's not a mid-life crisis. A crisis equates to panic and I am past anything resembling panic. There's no panic. In fact I would say there's more clarity and calm than ever before. And I do mean ever. I'd rather refer to it as an awakening. So it's truly not a mid-life crisis. I can't even say it's a mid-life awareness though. Maybe at some point in the future it will be a mid-life crisis when I actually acknowledge hitting the middle of my life. I don't plan on acknowledging that for quite some time so my awakening will have to be viewed as a finally gaining some maturity awakening. Ok, so that might be a mouthful but how can one sum up such a pivotal moment in their life in two or three words. Two or three paragraphs wouldn't do it justice so I'll call it My Awakening with the full understanding of the one or two people who actually take the time to dive in to my rants and make some attempt at deciphering them are clear that whatever it is I'm going through is probably too complex or not complex enough for it to make much of a difference to anyone but me.
Alright, I'll admit that this probably isn't the way to grab the attention of my reader. To capture the imagination of the audience and ensure they feel the need to continue to the end and be left wishing there was more to absorb in this posting. I only have one thing to say to those critics. Fuck off. I don't give a rat's ass what you think about what I have to say or if you continue reading. This posting is completely and totally selfish. It's not for you. It's not meant to make you feel warm and cushy inside. It's not meant to make you feel special or help you in your quest to be a better person. I'm not your fucking therapist and I have absolutely no intention to be.
If you're still hanging on thinking there's something new coming and some great revelation is going to change your life you must really like holding your breath. Trust me... you will pass out before that happens and if there is any supreme being watching over you he will hopefully put you out of your misery before you resume consciousness because you are an idiot and the rest of us are praying you do not procreate. Didn't you just read the last paragraph moron?
If you're still reading because you are waiting for me to cuss you out again you might not have long to wait. I've spent too much of my life biting my tongue and calming the waters. I'm done and looking for an outlet of years of frustration and you just wandered smack dab into the middle of my outlet. Watch out for the waves.
If you're not one of the idiots I described above you either have too much free time to be reading an obscure little blog like mine or a true friend. Thank you to either of you because even if it seems there is only one or two of you actually taking the time to read this at least I feel like there is an audience and I am not as miniscule in this world as it usually seems.
